I’m Gonna Be (.500 Ball)
By Robert Malchman - With apologies to the Proclaimers
***
When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna see
The Yankees are a team who play the game poorly
When I log on, yeah, I know I'm gonna see
I’m gonna see the Yankees took just one of three
If I get drunk, well, at least I know I won’t see
The New York Yankees with a dozen LOB
And if I have to, hey, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who’s kicking his TV
But they will play .500 ball
And then they’d play .500 more
Just to be the men who choked a thousand times
And fall down on the floor
When it’s working, yes, I know it’s gonna seem
It’s gonna seem like Boone can really win for you
But when it’s about money, you know what Hal will do
He’ll pass on Soto and bring back Joey Gallo
When I come home (when I come home), oh, I know I’m gonna see
A bullpen meltdown of Ferguson’s courtesy
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna see
Judge becoming Stanton in the 2030’s
But they will play .500 ball
And then they’d play .500 more
Just to be the men who choked a thousand times
Please just show Boone the door
When I'm angry, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be angry for all the games they blew
And when I'm dreaming, well, I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream of what the Core Four used to do
When they strike out (when they strike out), well, I know it’s gonna be
Outside the zone, then another GIDP
And when they’re at home (when they’re at home), yes, I know I'm gonna see
Starters giving up a first inning run or three
I'm gonna be the man who's breaking his TV
But they will play .500 ball
And then they’d play .500 more
Just to be the men who choked a thousand times
And get swept out in four
And they will play .500 ball
And then they’d play .500 more
Just to be the men who choked a thousand times
To fail in October
***
If you don't know, sing this to this tune:
