About the Off-Season: Memories and Regrets

About the Off-Season: Memories and Regrets

By Tim Kabel

January 4, 2025

***

This article will be a little different. After all, how many times can I write about who the Yankees should acquire to play third base or whether the Yankees are in the running to acquire Roki Sasaki. Soon enough, we will have the answers to those questions. The Yankees have made a lot of changes and have a few more to make but very soon, their roster for 2025 will be set. I'm thinking about something else today.

One of the most beautiful things about baseball is the way we become fans. Usually, it is passed down from father or mother to son or daughter. Sometimes, it's an older sibling. The relaxed pace of baseball along with the fact that it is played virtually every day throughout the spring and summer lends to it becoming a family activity. Think of the shots of the crowd during any baseball game. Sure, you see groups of friends or co-workers but mostly, you see families. You see fathers and sons or daughters with their mothers or fathers. Often, you will see little babies wearing onesies of their favorite team, or at least their parents’ favorite team.

That's how we become fans. We follow the lead of our parents or older siblings. Sometimes, we break ranks and go along with some other relative or friends or some other group. Some people just pick a team to be different. I had a teacher in high school who had grown up a Yankees’ fan, but his wife was a die-hard Mets’ fan. To preserve marital harmony, they picked a team to root for together and became Seattle Mariners’ fans.

I have been a Yankees’ fan since I was a kid. I followed along with the rest of my family. The first game I ever went to, which I have described on this site before, was with my mother and my older sister. We arrived late and left early but, it was still a wonderful time. I saw my favorite player, Thurman Munson, hit his 100th career home run. The Yankees beat the Baltimore Orioles that day.

Since then, I have gone to many games with many different people. I have gone with friends, coworkers, family members, and my children. The last game I attended was a Yankees’ game in Camden Yards. The seats were excellent. Due to health issues, I'm not able to go to a game right now. That could change in the future. But I have wonderful memories from all the games that I did attend. But now, I want to think about the game I never attended.

Before I go any further, I want to clarify something. A regret is not a complaint. A complaint is something about which you feel aggrieved, wronged, or unjustly treated. A regret Is something you wish had gone differently or had happened.

My biggest regret is that I never went to a baseball game with my father. Let me be clear, it was not as if he went to games with other people and excluded me. He didn't. My father worked. He was a carpenter. His father had been a carpenter. His brother was a carpenter. He worked just about every day. When he wasn't working as a carpenter, he was working at home. When I was a kid, we had cows and horses. My father would get up early and milk the cows and take care of them and the horses. We didn't have a lot of extra money to buy hay for the horses and cows. So, my father had a tractor and other equipment and would cut the hay fields of the people who lived near us. He would then bring the hay home or bale it and store it in a barn. He was always doing something. If he wasn't cutting hay, he was fixing the tractor or sharpening the blades on the mower. He also had regular yard work and things around the house to do. I remember one time the lawnmower broke, so my father went outside with a sickle, that curved tool that used to be on the Soviet flag along with a hammer. My father bent over and cut the entire lawn with a sickle. 

Because I was in college when he died and didn't have a lot of money. I never had the opportunity to take my father to a ball game. There are great many things that I never had the opportunity to do with my father. If I could go back in time right now, one of the things I would do is take my father to a Yankees’ game. He would have enjoyed the experience. He would have eaten a couple of hot dogs, or maybe sausages. He probably would have had a beer or maybe two. It would have been a tremendous memory. At this point, it is a regret. It is a regret that can never be resolved. But it is not a regret that consumes me. My father would sometimes watch a baseball game on TV with me but, he was often so tired that he would fall asleep in his chair. I do distinctly remember watching the Yankees’ game on August 3rd, 1979, with my father. That was the day after Thurman Munson died and there was a very moving pregame ceremony and game.

My father was certainly not a man of leisure. His plan was to retire when he hit the age of 65. Unfortunately, he died very suddenly seven months before his 65th birthday. All the plans he had to travel with my mother never happened. I was 19 at the time and I was driving my car when he had a massive heart attack in the passenger seat. I have always said that although it was a very difficult time for me and still a painful memory, I was happy that I was with him at that time and that he did not die alone and more importantly that he was not driving the car and possibly causing injury to someone else.

One of the things I inherited from my father is a work ethic. He was the hardest working man I ever saw. Whenever someone at my job told me how hard they were working, I pictured my father putting a roof on a house on a hot August day or working outside in the bitter cold of a Connecticut winter. Sometimes, I remembered him carrying buckets of water up the hill in the middle of winter when the pipes from the pump froze. I remember him with his square shovel, cutting precise paths through the snow. Because I greatly admired my father, I approached my job the same way he did. I often earned as much or more in overtime in a given year as I did in my regular salary. There were many times when I worked my regular shift but was then called out on an emergency after-hours. Occasionally, I worked the whole night through, went home, showered, shaved, and went right back to work with no sleep. Again, this is not a complaint, it's just a statement of facts. 

Because times had changed since I was a kid, I had much more vacation time than my father ever did. When I was young, he had to work a half-day on Thanksgiving. Bob Cratchit had more days off than my father did. Because I had more free time, I was able to go to many Yankees’ games. I was able to pass my love for the Yankees on to my children. I was able to go to games with all three of my children. In the last year I attended games, 2018, I went to games with my children at Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, and Camden Yards. Those are tremendous memories that I and hopefully they will always treasure.

That brings me back to my regret. My father has been gone over 40 years. It will be 41 years later this month. I would encourage any of you who still have a father or a mother to go to a Yankees game or some game with them. If they or you are not up to going to the game in person, watch one on TV. There are those of us who cannot do that because our parents are gone. Speaking for all of them, we would give anything to be able to do so. So, I suggest and in fact, I request that if you have the opportunity to take your parent or parents to a game or just watch one on television, that you do it. 

I guarantee that even if your parents aren't baseball fans, they will enjoy the experience, because it will be with you. Several years after my father passed away, I took my mother to the Bronx Zoo for the day. She wasn't thrilled with all the walking but, we had a wonderful time. Back then, if you went to the Bronx Zoo on a Wednesday, it was free. So, I paid only for parking and refreshments. It was something that I still remember. 

Baseball is meant to be enjoyed, especially with someone else. For those of you who did go to games with your father or mother, repay the favor. The season will be beginning in a few months. This would be the perfect time to take them to a game or to watch a game with them on the television. Make a memory.

I can tell you from personal experience that memories are much better than regrets.